feels like home

So far so good with this blog thing... 2 posts in 2 weeks, I feel like that's a step up from 2 posts last year.

Anyway, almost completely moved into the new apartment! We've been sleeping here since last Sunday, and it feels pretty darn good to have our own place! It's so nice to come to a clean, spacious home, and it makes me feel like an adult. I own furniture now! And I get to decorate my room and our apartment as I (&we) see fit. It's such a good feeling!

I'm going home (to AZ) on Thursday, and I am soooo incredibly excited! I have about a million things to do before I step onto that airplane, and I have one last final & paper due on Wednesday night, which if I'm being completely honest, are stressing me out and worrying me like you wouldn't believe, but once that's done, I'll be well into the summer! Wooohooo! Unfortunately I have to take summer classes, but honestly, I feel so little pressure with that, it doesn't even phase me. I just need this semester and my first official year of grad school to be over with!

Speaking of which, it's absolutely nuts for me to think about the fact that I've almost lived in SLC for a year. A year! Wow, how this time has flown by. I'm in such a different place in my life than I was when I came here. God has taken an active roll in changing my heart towards Utah and towards my experience here. I'm afraid I haven't been the most willing participant in that change, and at times have refused to give myself over to His will. I just want to know everything, I want to know how my life is going to turn out, what's going to happen, what the next step will be and, in obsessing over these questions, I've given myself the illusion of control -- it's only an illusion -- and turned by back on the One who is watching out for me. Oh, how God is teaching me humility and patience. Both of which are difficult lessons to learn.

Also, I've been convicted lately, funnily enough, through facebook, to actively live my faith. One of my FB friends posted as her status update a while ago: Sometime's we're the only Christ people see. This statement really hit home with me, and it made me wonder if people see God in me... if people even know that I'm a believer. It made me wonder if I am showing others the kindness, grace, mercy and love that Christ shows me on a daily basis...

One of my favorite quotes is: If you were arrested for being a Christian, would there be enough evidence to convict you? Gosh... this statement has been like a dagger to my heart lately. I have been unnecessarily unkind to certain people lately... one person in my program in particular, and this is a horrible reflection on the person I am / the person I know I can be. I need to try harder to reflect the love I feel inside me. I need to be Christ-like to others, even those who hurt me and anger me, for hurt and anger are poor excuses to disregard what God calls us to do: love one another.

Ok... I think that's it for today. I have a lot to work on (both school-wise and personally) and certainly a lot to think about. Goodnight all.

Heart.
-Dania-